Field Guide to the Partee of the Year

My confession is that I don’t love golf. But you don’t even have to LIKE golf to like the Wichita Open’s 17^th hole.

Put on by Wichita Wings legend Roy Turner, this annual golf tournament, part of the PGA’s Korn Ferry Tour, has blossomed into Wichita’s social event of the year. Even with 100 degree heat, the 17^th Hole is one of my favorite places to be. I am not exactly a party animal, but after a year of COVID-19, I was ready to rub some elbows. And so many elbows this year! My own personal biases aside (I wrote a book and produced a documentary about Roy Turner and his Wichita Wings), this shindig always shines.

I came Thursday with my wife Risa and my friend Adam Knapp. You might know him as director of the documentaries God Save the Wings and Out Here in Kansas. I know him as the Bottomless Pit, the Devourer of Worlds, Eater of Everything. He had his fill at the 17^th Hole. (He’d like to compliment the chef on the pasta salad.)

Upon arrival, we got the party started right: we sat down. Pro tip: let the guy in the golf cart ferry you to the 17^th Hole. It looks so close. But that’s a mirage. Just sit down in backseat and let him drive you. It’s 100 degrees. Save your energy for the party. As you whiz by the many banners of previous champions like Tom Lehman, David Duval, David Toms and Brad Elder, give a nod to the volunteers who make the tournament happen.

While in the grandstand, make sure to pay attention to the actual golf. You’ll see some great shots off the tee and are guaranteed to witness some killer putts on the green. Come for the golf, stay for the caddy races. Every once in a while, the PA announcer will exhort the caddies to race to the hole. One brave caddy wowed me by dropping the golf bag at the last second and finishing his run by diving, belly first, onto the green. It was a solid 9.87 (please disregard the East German judge’s 9.4).

Outside of the “regular” folks, there are two specific subgroups of attendees at the VIP grandstands on the 17^th green:

The ClubHead dresses for a day on the links. He wears his Callaway wide-brimmed hat or perhaps a Titleist ballcap. The shirt is DryFit. You might find binoculars around his neck or pressed up against his face. He’ll be sitting near the front of the grandstand in the stadium seating, hyper-focused on the green. Clubheads are often solitary, but do sometimes congregate in small herds (typically separated by country club). These groupings are called a Mickelsum. Each Mickelsum is typically comprised of two to four ClubHeads. Outside of the 17^th hole, they can be found on the links or watching the Golf Channel.

The Partee-er has heard of golf. They might have even played it once or twice. But they are here for the party. And what a party it is. The Partee-er roams the 17^th hole discovering the subtle differences between the Fore Play (that’s vodka and lemonade: Xclusive Events’ signature cocktail for 2021) in Grandstand A versus Grandstand C. The Partee-er revels in the free food from Corporate Caterers, sampling the chicken wrap, the hamburger, the barbecue sandwich…whatever he can get his hands on. He can often be seen trying to unsuccessfully sneak into the Ambassador grandstand.

As for the rest of us, we are trying to stay cool and have a good time. The former can be more of a challenge on a hot day like Thursday. But the latter is easy-peasy.

Once we went through the free buffet it was off to Grandstand A to eat. We borrowed a table from my buddy Josh Kippenberger, CEO of Jaco General Contractor (and 17^th Hole chalet sponsor), and made short work of our food. Grandstands A, B and C are covered, two-story affairs with open sides that allow the breeze to cool things off. Not surprisingly, the breeze on the top deck blows a little harder, which is nice on a steamy Thursday in June. Each deck has its own bartender station. The aforementioned bottomless Fore Play quenched our thirst throughout the afternoon (know when to say when, folks). And when nature calls, for the fellas, there are plenty of portable toilets. The ladies can enjoy a much nicer set of air-conditioned restrooms inside a portable trailer.

But the best part of the day is socializing with old friends and new. You are bound to know one of the other 50,000 people attending the tournament, if not the hundreds at the 17^th Hole. Dozens of local companies sponsor portions of each of the grandstands at the 17^th Hole, so most folks are bound to run into a client, customer or rival over the course of the afternoon. I have no clients, customers or rivals (I am a friend to all mankind), but I did get to catch up with fellow God Save the Wings producer Tori Deatherage and her boyfriend Vaughn, former Wichita Wings star Kevin Kewley and his new bride Jennifer Kewley, my brother Brendan, my father Michael and dozens more.

Next year, do yourself a favor: sponsor a chalet at the 17^th Hole for your company, or if you are like most of us, and don’t own your own company, buy a single ticket to the biggest party of the year!